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CHAPTER THREE: Welcome Back

احدث اجدد واروع واجمل واشيك CHAPTER THREE: Welcome Back

We arrived in the Philippines a few weeks before my 18th Birthday.  As my mother and I walked out of the airport we both went our separate ways.  She left with her family and I left with mine.  As I said before, I can't really remember much.  We organized the party only a few weeks before my birthday.  Got my dress fitted, as I got two gowns speacially made for me by one of Uncle Eds friends.  I handed out my invitations and Uncle Ed and Aunt Eve did all the rest.

THE BIG DAY;  Uncle Ed put on my make-up and I'd put on my first gown.  I welcomed all the visitors that have arrived and was panicking.  I hoped that all was gonna go well.  We had our street closed down for the party, and had cannopies up because it started to spit.  I prayed that it wouldn't rain, as that was the last thing I wanted to happen.  From when the party started until it finished everything was blank.  Luckly I had the whole celebration recorded on video.  I watch it sometimes and always think that I could have done some things better.  But, things happen for a reason.  My first dance was suppose to be with my father, but I think he was very ill and could make it.  I didn't know that he was in the dark hiding watching me from afar.  It was sad that he couldn't celebrate it with me, but I was glad he had seen the woman that I had become.  I just wished that he could see that I am better and wiser now than what I was back then.  My father passed away when I was 22.  I couldn't make it to his funeral as I was in New Zealand and had no money for the airfare.  I miss him everyday.  I've missed him from the day I left to live with my mother.  He will always be in my heart and I will always remember him for the person that he was, not for what he bad things he did.

A few weeks after my birthday I found out that my oldest sister AJ, had passed away.  She had died in her sleep.  She was so young.  She must of been only in her late twenties.  Moments after I heard the news, I rushed to her house to see my other two siblings and their mother, whom which I also call "Mommy".  I saw my other sister and hugged her.  It still hasn't hit me.  I still couldn't beleive that my sister was gone.  I never really knew her well, but we still communicated and traeted each other well.  She has written me a few letters while I was in New Zealand.  Just telling me how everything was and wanting to know how I was.  Days went by, my sister was still not buried as her mother was supposedly waiting for my sisters Aunt from the US.  The first couple of nights I stayed up and sat beside my sisters coffin.  It was white and gold and had a glass paned window.  She was wearing a beautiful yellow gown that she wore in one of the parades we have annually in the city.  She looked so beautiful.  My sister didn't looked anything like her mother or my father.  She had lazy eyes, cute smile and beautiful long black hair.  We both share the same first name and last name.  No one got confused as we were called by our middle names.  When I did finally decide to have a rest and get some sleep, I went inside their house and walked upstairs and laid on the first bed I saw.  When I woke up, my sister Ri asked if I knew who's bed I laid in.  I answered no, she then said that that was the bed my sister AJ was sleeping in before she died.  I didn't care, I wasn't scared or disgusted.  It wasn't a strangers bed to me.  On the day she got buried was the day I finally cried.  It finally hit me.  My oldest sister, my fathers "unica hija" (first born daughter) was gone and never coming back.  My father almost collapsed, he couldn't bare seeing his child get buried.  Everything happened so fast.  I could not remember if I went and see if he was ok.  I knew I wasn't alone, I knew I was comforting either my sister or my brothers. 

As the days went by, everyone just went back to their normal life.  Did the things they normally do everyday.  I met some of AJ's friends and became friends with them.  I also became her bestfriends new bestfriend.  His name is John.  he said that I reminded him of my sister.  The walk, the way I talk even my personality.  I mostly hung out at his house.  He had a girlfriend named D, she was never really around as she lived somewhere else and worked most of the time.  I was back to where I started.  I drank until I couldn't drink anymore, hung out with my friends until dawn and just slept where ever there was space.  I was loving it.  I didn't have a care in the world.  No one was telling me what to do, I did what ever I wanted.  And I took it for granted.  I only spent most of my time with my friends and not with my family.  The feeling of being free overwhelmed me.  I forgot about those whom I left behind years ago and not spend time with them.  That is probably the one and only thing I regret in my life, I should have spent more time with my family.  Friends will come and go.  They can easily be replaced.  If you had money you can buy friends.  If you had anything people wanted, they can be your friends.  There will only be one family in your life.  They may not be perfect, but atleast you know they will always be there when you need them, whether you're rich or poor.

Cherish your family. They are irreplaceable. You'll never know when you'll see them again

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